There's this emphasis and pressure within society to create the "perfect" relationship. Our ideal of success is the lastingness of each union. When in reality, there have been relationships drug on for decades where both parties wouldn't dare deem "successful", yet simultaneously spurts of summer romances can be very nourishing the soul, as many can attest.
I'm writing a new standard for what a "successful relationship" represents to me. (I've never been one too easily impressed with convention always).
Post Compassionate Closure ~Survey~
Congratulations, you've successfully graduated from a conscious relationship!
Store the positive teachings, quickly while they're still ripe. Heck keep a running tab in a journal when reminiscing on the beauty of favorite moments in the relationship. If I've learned anything, gratitude is the only way to ensure we keep welcoming an abundance of gratitude to flow into our lives.
These are the experiences we can allow to nourish us, so we can use this as food for our spirit to continue reaching, rising, and becoming one with all and one with love.
Don't be shy in reaching out to people you love to spend time together. They want to be there for support and you are so worthy <3 . Get some of your favorite food, immerse yourself in nature, drink a smoothie, go on a hike, do some stretching, do some crying, do some laughing, lots of laughing with lots of dancing.
Alas, after 5 long years of waiting, I have lost my Burn-ginity! I finally understand the magic and mystery the Playa has to offer, and how 6 days in the desert can evoke every human emotion within the spectrum. The question is, in the midst of the benevolent chaos, will you eat or be eaten? As I'm decompressing and reflecting on this experience, the following learnings come to mind. I'm recognizing being aware is the first step, the true work comes in the integration that follows... Ever a work in progress, every bit worth the process <3 Enjoy~
TOP 10 LEARNINGS:
1. When s**t comes up....sometimes, the wisest thing to do is just to feel. Go into that feeling and surrender. No need to intellectualize things, use logic to "figure it all out", just breathe, feel deeply, and observe yourself without judgment.
2. What's obvious to you is not what's obvious to everyone else... also the word obvious is a bit condescending and inaccurate most times. There's no need to be "right" all the time, no need to project yourself onto others. Just be, breathe, and keep seeking your own truths.
3. Judgments of others arise from suppressed judgments of ourselves... we've refused to observe, accept, and learn from. He/she who is free finds no flaws in others to see.
4. Everything is impermanent. Every high/low we experience is like a swinging pendulum. Remembering this helps cultivate a deeper awareness and appreciation for all ends of the spectrum... as well as restore hope in the midst of hopelessness and starve the ego when things do appear to continually go "your way"
5. Selflessness is necessary for a sustainable community. The more you participate, think of ways to contribute, appreciate, and help rather than consume or maximize your end of the "transaction"... you make way for authentic bonds and acts of service. The former is far more fulfilling and inspiring in the short and long-run. What does your own personal ratio Contribution: Consumption say about you?
6. Self-reliance is way underrated. Being able to take care of yourself, regardless of the environment or situation, figure out creative solutions when you don't have all the tools you think you "need" is GOLD. Being able to pick up on the fly, get by with what you have, and live without attachments is a powerful example to set. Not to mention, you'll feel much lighter and free wherever you'll be.
7. An attitude of gratitude will sustain inner-peace. You are and that is more than enough. You are alive, breathing, beautiful, and conscious, and you already have all you need to thrive. Everything else is a luxury and an honor to partake in. This mentality will keep you humble, looking at every interaction and experience with fresh eyes, and most importantly maintain an open heart.
8. You're always at the right place at the right time. There's a constant stream of FOMO, especially in a highly stimulating environment such as Burning Man. However, I've found when you surrender and let yourself be guided by natural in-the-moment curiosities and authentic self-expression, the ultimate results that follow are far far greater, more pleasurable than you could've ever imagined. Letting go of expectations and attachments will bring you all you seek and more.
9. Love is the only thing in this life that matters, everything else is BS. You're either motivated in life by love or fear... Do you take a stand for love or react out of fear... of the unknown, of rejection, of being hurt again, of being judged...? It's a natural tendency for us to slip into the latter thinking we are protecting ourselves, when in reality we are just shielding ourselves from emanating and letting more love in. The ego tries to tell us there's some self-gratifying gain to living through a lens of "separateness", but the heart knows better. The unconditional love the Universe has to offer you is infinite and boundless. However, you must be open and willing to receive.
10. Start and end the day with Self-Love. The body listens to what the mind says. When you communicate deep appreciation, connection, and commitment to your own health and well-being, this forms a strong foundation for anything else that comes your way. Starting and ending the day with self-love, whether it be through meditation, exercise, positive affirmations, nourishment, or self-care of any other way, is so empowering and restorative. After all, you yourself deserve your own best quality of love more than anyone else in this universe. I promise it's the best investment you'll ever make. Remember: "You can only meet others as deeply as you've met yourself. " Imagine how raw and deep our interpersonal interactions could be if we were all more committed to loving ourselves first... Why not begin today?
All in Love & Light,
Welcome to the inner musings and mind gems that I've harnessed from the thought streams that scurry across mind. Here you'll find the experiences, reflections, and learnings I feel worthy of documenting as my journey unfolds.